1) Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
George Bernard Shaw
2) Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
3) Remember, if you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns!
Allison Gappa Bottke
4) Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived.
Captain Jean
5) Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.
6) What the mind can conceive, it can achieve.
Napoleon Hill
7) Some people make your life better by walking into it, others make it better by leaving.
8) Learn from your parents' mistakes, use birth control!
Anonymous
9) The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
Lao Tzu
10) By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates
11) Life is a sexually transmitted disease and there is a 100% mortality rate.
R.D. Laing
12) Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion.
13) When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Steven Wright
14) Life is easier than you'd think; all that is necessary is to accept the impossible, do without the indispensable, and bear the intolerable.
Kathleen Norris
15) Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
Timothy Leary
16) The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
Author unknown
17) I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
Chris Rock
18) Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils
Louis Hector Berlioz
19) Whenever life sucks, remember you are going to die someday.
20) Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop trying to figure out precisely how we feel, stop deciding with our mind what we want our heart to feel. Sometimes we just have to go with... 'Whatever happens - happens'
21) Don't think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. I hate a fellow whom pride or cowardice or laziness drive into a corner, and who does nothing when he is there but sit and growl. Let him come out as I do, and bark.
Samuel Johnson
22) Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed.
23) It isn't what you do, but how you do it.
John Wooden
24) Formal education will make you a living. Self education will make you a fortune.
Jim Rohn
25) Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Robin Williams
26) He who has nothing to die for has nothing to live for.
Moroccan Proverb
27) It saddens Norwegians that America still honors the Italian Columbus, who arrived late in the New World and by accident, who wasn't even interested in New Worlds but only in spices. Out on a spin in search of curry powder and hot peppers a man on a voyage to the grocery he stumbled onto the land of heroic Vikings and proceeded to get the credit for it. And then to name it 'America' after Amerigo Vespucci, an Italian who never saw the New World but only sat in Italy and drew incredibly inaccurate maps of it. By rights, it should be called Erica, after Eric the Red, who did the work five hundred years earlier. The United States of Erica, Erica the Beautiful, The Erican League.
Anonymous
28) He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.
Friedrich Nietzsche
29) Life is a mixed blessing, which we vainly try to unmix.
Mignon McLaughlin
30) Life is a long lesson in humility.
James M. Barrie
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