1) Some men are like mascara, they usually run at the first sign of emotion.
2) Stay is a charming word in a friend’s vocabulary
3) When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry
4) A bachelor is like a modern cleanser; works fast and leaves no rings!
5) Girls fall in love with what they hear. Boys fall in love with what they see. That’s why girls wear make up and boys lie.
6) The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy.
7) If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
8) Don't argue with idiots because they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
Greg King
9) Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
10) Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks. What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
11) Does being ec'static' mean that everything sticks to you?
12) So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected!
Russell H. Conwell
13) Funny but at the same time very true quote about girls. When a girl feels love from the boy then she will love him by more than he does, but if a boy breaks her heart then she will show her real face.
14) A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.
Les Dawson
15) Kinda feels weird when your computer asks if you'd like to continue unprotected
16) I don’t believe that love comes to those who wait. Today, love comes to those who flirt.
17) I laughed a lot on this quote. It gives a true and solid argument why we don't have to be jealous of your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Hope you'll enjoy this.
18) There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money
19) I’m not weird, I’m a limited edition.
20) I always feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out!
Billy Madison
21) There are easier things in life than trying to find a nice guy... like nailing a jelly to a tree for example.
22) All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors will then be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.Have a nice day!
23) Time is God's way to keep everything from happening at once.
James Brown
24) Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you’re alive, it isn’t.
25) Don't forget Mother's Day... or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day.
Jay Leno
26) For all the girls that say “All guys are the same”, who told you to try them ALL?
27) Time flies when you're throwing your alarm clock across the room!
28) I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife.
Tony Curtis.
29) The law of heredity is that all undesirable traits come from the other parent.
30) I speak two languages- body and English.
31) ... just realized that people can walk out of your life just as easily as they walked in..
32) Every guy thinks every girl's dream is to find the perfect guy… pshh, every girl's dream is to eat without getting fat.
33) People say that love is in every corner......gosh! Maybe I'm moving in circles...
34) Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
Robert A. Heinlein
35) You can fall from the sky. You can fall from a tree. But the best way to fall - Is in love with me.
36) Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead.
37) Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.
38) I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
39) And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
Abraham Lincoln
40) The trouble with suggestions is that they often come from other people.
41) The friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you
42) Not all men are fools. There are still some bachelors left.
43) Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate
44) Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate
45) When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier
46) In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.
47) Love is like a war: Easy to begin, Hard to end!
48) There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate
49) If they would have had Facebook when I was in college, I would still be in college.
50) Have you ever had a fly land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try to scare it with the cursor?
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